In the depths of hell? Maybe! Though it's become something of a parlor game to try and figure out who exactly will put a successful contract out on his head (Colombians? the Noels? Ruth Madoff?), it turns out Bernie-boy may get the job done himself. Page Six reports that several sources say Madoff may be suffering from pancreatic cancer. It would be distasteful of us to run a poll asking you to democratically determine if this is part 1 of a 'fake my death' scam but if you want to go ahead and let us know what you think, we're not gonna stand in the way.