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Blowing Your Last Gasket

If today is all about news we'd rather not hear consider this the icing on the asbestos cupcake I'm about to shove down your throat. Take a good look at the credit card above, 'cause it's the last time you're gonna to see it. Capital One, you see, was a-okay with David Mackie and his photo of choice, approving the image, sending him the card, and allowing him to feel the sweet taste of Nick Nolte in his lungs for several days before cruelly taking it all away. The Smoking Gunreports that a representative from the bank offered Mackie a "$50 customer goodwill statement credit," which I don't think I have to tell you was little consolation. There's only one word for what this world is coming to when you can't slap the likeness of a junkie actor bearing an uncanny resemblance to Gary Busey on your plastic: apocalypse.
Now that I've regained my composure, and had some time to work through this, I think it's actually going to be okay. We have it on good authority that Bank of America and Citi have plans to compete to keep lowering standards of acceptability for what they'll let customers put on their cards. I'll get my Angelo Mozilo-on-goat card yet.