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It Gets Better

A clever Dealbreaker reader (aren't you all) found the trading blog of cleverer-at-escape-than-DB-Schenker fugitive Dennis Bolze. A long, rambling piece riddled with low-brow anti-democrat and anti-Obama material, and a stack of those cutsie-annoying internet joke photos that your aunt won't stop sending you. The thing goes back to 2005 if you can believe that, and certainly presents a wealth of insight into the criminal mind for those who can endure the drivel.
We love the header:

If you are new to trading, before you go out and buy into to someone that claims to have the holy grail take a day and read thru this blog. If it sounds to good to be true, well it just might be. Why put your money on the line following someone when all you really need is to find your own way....there is a lot of crap out there......BE SAFE and email me at Also visit

That link returns this:

Dear Clients of Dennis Bolze,
It is with my deepest sympathies that I write this notice to you. I am the administrator or webmaster of this domain and my name is Dawn Suiter, and I am located near Gatlinburg, TN USA. I have worked for Dennis Bolze for many years now on several of his website projects including this website, we communicated nearly every day regarding website updates & changes.
On December 26, 2008 I went to Dennis's house because he was late paying me a large balance due for work completed. He ceased communications with me around December 17th, which is why I went to his home personally. I spoke to his wife & she explained that Dennis was in fact missing and had also ceased communications with her around the 19th. In their last conversation he clearly told her that he would not be coming back.

Oh me oh my.
Take a look before someone yanks it, or our traffic shuts it down.
Update:CONTEST: The reader finding the most amusingly ironic passage will get a "Don't Short Me Bro" mug.
Our favorite passage so far after the jump.
Earlier:January Is International Fugitive Month

Facing the mountains of life......
We all have to go our own path sometimes, in fact, most of the time. Life is always giving us something new to work with, build on, adjust to and of course, I am no different. I enjoy my work, each and everyday, trading runs in my blood and it runs deep.
The cat and mouse game of being on the right side, taking a piece of a swing, cherry pickin the top or bottom...what a rush. To take a trade and get stopped out only to see it take off in your direction and in the end, you were right, but..........We all going thru these moments as we scream, yell, pound the keyboard and walk out of the office lookin to kick a cat or something on the way to the frig. That is why I understand your pain at times......been there, done that, and enjoyed every moment of it. WELL, almost every moment that is.... :)
Everything a person can do trading, I have done so many times it isn't funny, but it is...because I thought it was you guys out to get me. Turns out it was me out to get me, nothing more, nothing less, like Barney shooting his gun off while putting it back in the holster.
Living is a serious business, in a blink of an eye, you could be gone....never to enjoy those moments in time, that as you get older, you know will never happened again. Watching kids grow and grow up with their pets, sharing quiet moments with your spouse, laughing with friends over something stupid, telling jokes and busting on ole buddies over a sports could be gone in a blink of an eye.
I guess I have found out since June, that I am not who I thought I was, I'm not Superman, Batman or even Robin, I used to think I was. When building the house I live in now, I would have a contest carrying pecky cypress boards with my 16 year old son. He carried 4, I carried 5, he carried 6, and on this went until we got to 16 and I watched as he lifted them off the ground saying to myself, "Drop them, so I win this stupid thing," well he didn't. He carried them across the 2nd floor over to a sorting area and set them down. That meant I had to carry 17 boards, 8 inches wide and 12 feet long. It took me all I could do to lift them up, and I had to focus on a spot across the room and hard, step by step by step, ever closer to the sort room, step by step I could feel my heart pumping, I started to sweat, I even began to shake with the weight of the boards on my shoulders, step by step and I finally got there and then I had to set them down without spilling them. By the time I got them down I was within second of passing out.....but that is what Supermen do and Dad's.
I have had to learn that rocking on the front porch while drinking some ice cold green (fricking) tea isn't all that bad. That turning off the monitors and watching Dancing with the Stars with your wife isn't the end of the world, that oatmeal with or without blueberries actually is good, even if it's 6 days a week, because Sinful Saturday is only 3 days away.
I have had to postpone the workshop until after the begininng of the year, for a number of reasons, but I'll miss busting on attendees, laughing about doing the candle thing and all the great times we have when we all get together with no agenda other then just spending time and share experiences together...isn't that what life is all about.
You will be getting an email in the next few days with details of the future...and it's all good....I plan to be around a long time.....and doing what it takes to get there.....PEACE!!!