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It's Just Not Fair

I mean the story had everything. General aviation. Infidelity. Financial fraud. (Allegedly). Interstate flight. Suicide. (Attempted). (Allegedly). Divorce. More financial fraud. (Allegedly). The FBI. Southern law enforcement. The U.S. Marshals Service. Camping. Insurance fraud. (Allegedly). Shameless self promotion. Photographs representing the absolute pinnacle of douchebaggery. MILFs. (Your mileage may vary). Equities in Dallas. (Indianapolis). Civil suits. Bankruptcy. Bankruptcy fraud. (Allegedly). And what's more? It was so sordid, in fact, that our friends over at Clusterstock didn't even write about it once! But we know what you love. Don't we?
This story was made for Dealbreaker. Accordingly, I would like to take a moment to say: fuck you. Fuck you Marcus for blowing it so quickly. We even gave you a guide to sustain you in your time of trouble, for crying out loud.
Ok, ok. Story so far:
In 1990 Schrenker does 16 days on a stolen property theft charge, apparently gets probation and has the record expunged. (Well, sort of expunged anyhow).
In 1991 Schrenker faces a forced Chapter 7 liquidation petition, claims it was filed fraudulently and blames his fraternity brothers for taking cards out in his name.
In 2001 he was terminated from Multi Financial Securities (churning was the allegation).
In 2003 he faces IRS allegations that he failed to report income and purchased "$29,000 in audio/visual equipment and orders $16,000 worth of landscaping services, provided to his home" that he seemed to be claiming as business expenses.
In 2003 he again faces a Chapter 7 liquidation action, again claiming the action was fraudulently filed. (Forged signature). Sounds familiar.

After signing on as an adviser to the group of pilots fighting pension modifications in the Delta Bankruptcy in 2006, apparently to argue against Delta's pension termination plan, Schrenker abruptly leaves the pilots in a lurch, bails out on the case unexpectedly leaving them with no financial testimony against the plan.
Zero Hedge has culled out a series of entertaining documents relating to this nonsense.
In 2007 he is accused of charging $135,000 in annuity surrender fees to a pair of elderly clients. (Their original investment was around $900,000). This seems to be the nexus of the present fraud allegations.
Forward to the end of 2008. A $500,000+ plus judgment in federal court is entered against him.
On December 30th, his wife files for divorce. She now claims that he was having an affair but that the couple was trying to reconcile.
On December 31st, a search warrant is served on Schrenker's home and offices. His passport and over $6,000 in cash are seized along with records. Schrenker, apparently, was with his mistress in Florida at the time. Says Michelle's attorney:

Michelle first contacted me this past summer to discuss a divorce this past summer because her husband was having an affair. At the time, she wanted to work on reconciling with her husband. However, he continued his affair. and, as a result, on December 30th 2008, she filed a petition for dissolution of her marriage from Marcus Schrenker.
Her decision to file for divorce was based on her husband's infidelity and in no way was based on the investment fraud of which he is accused. In fact, Michelle first learned of the allegations against him when, on December 31st 2008, the police and investigators came to her door to search her home.
To Michelle's dismay, at the time her home was being searched, Marcus was in Florida with his girlfriend.

Things aren't looking up. So Schrenker pulls the old fake death routine (allegedly).
Some new details there. Apparently, he first approached a resident, in their home, and gave the canoe accident story. Police were then called, and he apparently identified himself with his pilot's license. (This is interesting because the old style licenses don't have photos on them and not everyone has switched to the new ones yet).
After his short flight from justice, when he is found in a Florida campground by U.S. Marshals, he "was barely conscious and muttered the word "die" when federal agents found him bleeding from a slashed wrist...."
(Remember kids, it's down the roads, not across the street).

Just as we were administering first aid to him we were giving him assurances that he would be OK and he seemed to mutter some words that he was resistant to that. He muttered 'die' at one time as if he didn't want the first aid that we were rendering to him....

This conflicts with the evidence found on the scene, purportedly showing Schrenker was "prepared to be on the run for a long time." We are guessing that means ca$h, baby, lots of ca$h. (Apparently he had access to over $600k in client funds in "an offshore account"). This would explain the dash to Florida instead of Mexico, and the Bahamas connection.
Marshal's aren't saying how they caught him, but it wasn't a campsite tip, apparently. We're betting the Blackberry.
Federal authorities are considering adding to the charges he faces in Indiana. Faking a distress call, and reckless endangerment via abandoning your perfectly good plane in mid-air, that then lands 50 yards from homes, is unlikely to end well.
Well, it was good while it lasted. Now we'll just settle in for the trial. (Unless he can figure out how to make a noose out of a prison bed sheet, but we aren't holding our breath).
Agent: Pilot mutters "die" as run from law ends [Associated Press]
U.S. marshals: Pilot could face federal charges [CNN]