Live: The Mistakes I Made In Preparing My Tax Returns

Author:
Updated:
Original:

10:48 am: Tim Geithner is that boring English literature substitute teacher who reads in a staccato, not quite monotone, like its the first time he's read out loud in public and he's really distracted by the blond in the front row who sprouted about three years early. (Be that Dave or Dana, we don't yet know).
His opening statement was a snoozer too.
Sez Geithner: "These were careless mistakes, they were avoidable mistakes, but they were unintentional. I have gone back and corrected these mistakes, and paid what I owed."
Well, he's one step ahead of an illegal immigrant then.
I think he thinks that if he keeps repeating "These were careless mistakes, these were avoidable mistakes," it will all be ok. He's said it now five times.
10:56 am: "Did you use software to prepare your tax returns?"
"I did."
"What brand did you use?"
"...I used Turbotax to prepare my returns."
Hah.
11:12 am:Who is this "John Kerry" person? He looks and sounds really familiar.... Nevermind. He must not be important. CNBC picked his time slot to break in to split screen and argue about Geithner's lack of a plan and tax cheating.
Please tell me John Kerry didn't just quote Paul Krugman. He did. Damnit. That guy is going to be impossible to live with now.
This exchange pretty much sums up the major issue we all face:
John Kerry: How exactly are you going to fix the "Zombie Banks" Paul Krugman refers to?
Chairman: You have negative twenty seconds.
Geithner: You're right, Senator, the economy of the United States is very complicated. Thank you for your time.
I mean are you kidding me? This is the best this country has to offer? John Kerry quoting the likes of Paul Krugman, who, himself, stole the 10 year old term "zombie bank" from the EJ Kane order to be told by the Chairman that there are "negative twenty seconds left" and have the pretty boy tax cheat who wants to run the IRS but uses TurboTax to prepare his complex, multi-employer and NGO reporting tax returns admit that the United States economy is complicated? What the hell is wrong with these people?
11:37 am: "Mr. Geithner has been involved in about every flawed action in the recent administration...."
Here we go.
"Mr. Geithner does not provide a satisfactory explanation for the [tax] problem."
Still, the Chairman, Senator Max Baucus, makes no apologies for trying to help the new administration get its economic team up and running.
11:45 am: I believe I have detected a pattern.
Senator: I am irritated that [tax reform / market pricing / the TARP / Zombie Banks / entitlement reform / local banks / the notice of this meeting] is not being addressed. Can you comment on that?
Chairman: You had 30 seconds, 25 seconds ago.
Geithner: Yes, the financial system is complex.
Huzzah!
12:07 pm: CNBC seems to think its all fine, this tax evasion (let's face it, he didn't pay it because he got away with it past the 3 year audit scope limit and he never planned to until he was vetted and someone told him to clean his fucking act up) since he apologized, and he is telegenic so let's just move on. Nothing to see here. Move along.
12:12 pm: Geithner: I'm cracking... the... safe.... I'm cracking... the... safe.
That is so annoying.
12:24 pm: Geithner has morphed three times in this hearing. Now he reminds me of those Furby dolls- the ones that were banned in the CIA and NSA buildings because they recorded and repeated voices. Geithner seems to just spit out the same things over and over again. "Catastrophic failure." "Careless mistakes. Avoidable Mistakes." "Financial system... complex." "Absolutely critical." "Very important concern."
We are confirming a robot.

Related