*PERSON FAMILIAR WITH SEC INQUIRIES DECLINES TO IDENTIFY MANAGER
*SEC SAID TO OPEN NEW PONZI-SCHEME PROBES IN WAKE OF MADOFF CASE
*SEC SAID TO PROBE MANAGER SUSPECTED OF $1 BILLION PONZI SCHEME
Surely there are many scams besides Madoff going on, and the paradoxically named Chris Cox did tell us we were going to see those skeletons wash ashore, but I'm mildly amused by the idea of the SEC coming in and in an attempt to prove it is neither incompetent nor irrelevant, not only shutting down, like hundreds of fraudulent firms, but also throwing in a few legit ones (let us know which ones you'd like to be considered) for good measure.* Additionally worth it, entertainment wise, would be for them to go corrupt cop on us and rough up a few big names just to keep everyone honest, since the whole idea of them policing shit with competence and integrity was clearly a bit of a fool's mission (to keep it legal, Cox will hold a press conference tomorrow forewarning everyone that "the next firm to go Ponzi on us will be looking at the business end of a broom stick up its ass.")** In any event, I you should probably ahead and guess the next Madoff now.
Earlier: We Have To Be Able To Laugh About This Stuff
*Only those offering to tattoo Chris Cox's name on their asses will be spared.
**We have it on good authority that Larry Robbins is going to be roughed up in a Hooters parking lot tonight, not because he's necessarily done anything wrong, but because the SEC is in "we'll show you, WE'LL SHOW ALL OF YOU!!!" mode.