Surely There's An Explanation For This

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Robert Jaffe, the so-called "point man" for Ponz. master Bernie Madoff, was supposed to show up to testify this morning before Massachusetts regulators by order of subpoena and didn't. A spokesman for the division kept it simple, telling the Boston Globe, "He's not coming. What happens next is to be determined." Since we know where this is obviously going, at this time, let's just put our heads together and figure out a. how this one's planning on faking his death. and b. who gets found first, Schrenker or Jaffe. Our money's on Bobby.

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There's An Opening For Chief Partaaay Planning Partner At Goldman Sachs

According to an incredibly distressing report by Bloomberg today, Richard Kimball Jr., he of topless pool parties, topless and bottom-less Halloween parties, and what sound like orgies in the backyard-fame, is no longer a partner at the firm. Goldman Sachs, which is scheduled to announce its new class of partners next week, has 407 members of that elite group, down 31 in about nine months, according to a company filing. That’s because 33 people listed as part of the partnership in a February document weren’t included in a filing released Nov. 2...Names dropped from the latest list include investment bankers Jason G. Cahilly, who specializes in advising media and telecommunications companies; Alastair J. Hunt, who works with businesses involved in natural resources; Kevin A. Quinn, a specialist in semiconductor firms and Richard A. Kimball Jr., who worked with the health-care industry. Although rumors circulated a while back that Goldman was considering simply de-partnering Kimball, a painful process that nevertheless allows neutered ex-partners to still gain access to the building, we're told that he has in fact left the bank entirely.* So the position is up for grabs and while it's unlikely that anyone will be able to fill his considerable shoes, that's not a good enough reason to not give it a try. Goldman Sachs Partner List Drops 31 Since February, Filing Shows [Bloomberg] Earlier: Goldman Sachs Managing Director Richard Kimball Finds Finds New Apartment Board Not Hell-Bent On Ruining His Good Time; Goldman Sachs Considering Punishing Richard Kimball For His Prudence, Joie De Vivre; Goldman Partner’s Neighbors Scandalized By Shirt Optional Parties; Goldman Sachs Supposedly Not Happy With Topless Story; Banks Advising Employees To Avoid Flashy Hamptons Homes This Year, Vague About Whether Or Not Pulling A Kimball Is Okay *Whether to start his own hedge fund or design a line for La Perla is unclear at this time.