Thain Toilet Gets Shout Out From Prez

Author:
Publish date:
Updated on

Obama was talking stimulus packages earlier this morning, when he took a moment to caution that "taxpayer money should not go toward renovating offices." Oh, yes, he went there. It might've been no big deal to the former MER CEO 24 hours ago, but now that he's unemployed, this exactly the sort of stuff that'll get the currently couchbound* John Thain to lean forward** in his sweats, almost spilling his glass*** of Sunny Delight, tell his buddies (Prince, O'Neal) playing XBox in the other room to "shut the fuck up, I want to hear this!" and nudge Cayne to drop the grav-bong**** and turn up the volume.
What was JT feeling when the President publicly slapped him on the wrist? Embarrassment? Shame? None of the above. Pride, my friends. Also getting off on the mention? Charlie Gasparino, who, by several leaps in logic, can now tell people Obama follows his work.
*Green upholstered duchesse c. 1770 ($92,000)
**toward the 55" Sony Bravia LCD flat panel ($6,000)
***Colbalt Blue Drinking Glass from the Michael Graves collection ($960)
****Swarovski-encrusted (not disclosed)

Related