When I Say "Dance, Puppets," You Dance

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When I tell you guys to bust out the Ouija board and summon Isaac Le Maire, do you think it's because I have insider information that you're all necrophiliacs? When I tell you to make space in your living rooms to sacrifice a bunch of live goats in the name of Chris Cox, do you think it's because I get off on the idea of you being busted by the department of health? When I tell you to wear dresses and pointy hats with stars, do you think it's because my singular pursuit in life is to turn those of you who aren't already into a bunch of cross-dressers in order to get your feet in the door at Ping Jiang's new fund? No, no and no (for the purposes of this particular point I'm about to get to but really yes, yes, and yes in the grand scheme of things).
It's because as a seasoned veteran of observing this shit, I know it gets results, which is how you can explain this bit of excellent news from one of our favorite Short Selling Wizards: Kynikos's Opportunity Fund International, Ltd. was up 3.2% for December and 15.1% year to date. Obviously, as you'll see in a moment, TPG and Avenue, like yourselves, did not heed such advice. I'm guessing Paulson didn't either, but merely got by on a fluke.


Kynikos Opportunity Fund International, Ltd.
Dec 2008: 3.2%,
YTD: 15.1%
Paulson Advantage, Ltd.
Dec 2008: 2.2%
YTD: 24.1%
TPG-Axon Partners Ltd.
Dec 2008: -1.5%
YTD: -34.2%
Avenue International, Ltd.
Dec 2008: -3.2%
YTD: -25.9%

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Not Everyone Convinced Former Trader Meant "It Wasn't A Question Of If I Was Going To Kill You, Just Of When" In A Figurative Sense

A year or so a go, commodities trader Vincent McCrudden was arrested for some things he put on a company website and some emails he sent out. The former involved an "execution" list containing the names of a handful of financial regulators, which he asked readers to aid him in crossing off ("I need your help," he wrote. "There are just too many for me alone"). The latter included an email to a CFTC staffer that noted: “You fucking corrupt piece of shit! I have let so many of you fucking corrupt mother fuckers off the hook for doing this to my life. You my friend are not getting away with this. I am going to do this my way now and you, you corrupt mother fucking piece of shit are the first on my list! laugh mother fucker…I am going to make you a test case!” To that end, the chief operating officer of the NFA was told, “It wasn’t ever a question of ‘if’ I was going to kill you, it was just of when." Were these emails particularly colorful? Yes. Should anyone who received them (or had their name placed on The List) been actually worried about losing his/her life? McCrudden could see how maybe things might have been interpretted that way, but no. As he told a judge, “I wrote provocative language on my website that could have been perceived as threatening. I would never intentionally hurt or cause bodily harm to another human being." And yet, this is still happening: Vincent P. McCrudden, a former New York commodities trader, was sentenced to two years and four months in prison for threatening to kill federal financial regulators. McCrudden, 51, who pleaded guilty last year, was sentenced today by U.S. District Judge Denis R. Hurley in federal court in Central Islip, New York...McCrudden said he was being persecuted for fighting back against unfair regulatory actions that destroyed his career. In addition to trading commodities, he ran his own hedge funds...McCrudden’s legal and regulatory entanglements began in 2000, when he was criminally charged with masking shortfalls in statements to his hedge-fund investors. The government said he included in his results money he expected to get from a lawsuit after Sumitomo Corp. (8053) was accused of manipulating the copper market. Ex-Trader McCrudden Gets 28 Months in Prison for Threats [Bloomberg]