As we mentioned yesterday, Bernie Madoff has taken to wearing a bullet proof vest during his appearances in public (open mic night at the Laugh Factory), as though there are people who want him dead. Turns out the Ponz. master may be on to something. This guy offered Berns some neighborly advice to jump yesterday, and New York securities lawyer Howard Siorta told Bloomberg, "I'd love to put a hatchet in Bernie Madoff's head, and I know there are other Jews who feel that way." Problem is, we need Big B alive, not dead. But I understand the cathartic need to end someone, so at this time, let's open up the space to discuss (1) who we'd like to kill (2) why (3) how we'd do it (4) what we'd do with the body. Has to be a real person. Though I do often experience violent feelings while using a Mac, Jobs is out. Begin.