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With A Bow On Top

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As you know, the Madoff boys, Mark and Andy, kinda got gypped on Hannukah this year, cause the presents their mom and dad sent had to be turned over to the authorities, lest Mark and Andy be implicated (assuming they're not already) in the whole Ponz. thing. Taking pity on the virtual orphans, our big hearted friends at Cityfile mailed the boys a bunch of costume jewelry to Andy's home at 400 East 84th Street. Nice idea, of course, but apparently they forgot that it's fishing rods and bait that get these two to drop their panties (don't think for a second we didn't realize there was an ulterior motive* behind the generosity). Anywho, I know you all would probably like to give the guys something nice, as well, but are scared of getting caught up in their family's legal issues, so tell us what you think would be the perfect gifts and we'll wrap them up and walk 'em over this weekend.
*It's called "Fuck A Piece Of History," my friends, and admit it or not, everyone wants to. Luckily for you, the concept is hurling towards earth in late '09 in the form of a sort of kissing (except in this case, fornicating) booth, once the boys start running low on funds.