A Miracle In Mustique

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Back in December, the gut-wrenching rumors circulated that Fairfield Greenwich Group founder Walter Noel, his wife Monica, and their five daughters would not be spending Christmas at the family's home in Mustique, which they were-- and my fingers are recoiling in horror here but I'm powering through it-- renting out by the week, like a common street whore. The sadness was almost too much to bear, and though we pleaded with Uncle Bernie to do something, anything, our cries fell on deaf/under 24-hour surveillance ears. We were gazing into the abyss and you know what was staring back at us? A vision of the two once vibrant human beings you see at left, sitting in a Seaside Heights motel. And then, like an angel descended from a heaven that takes whatever money could be returned to bilked investors and places it in the hands of the truly deserving, came this glimmer of hope that everything is going to be alright.
Page Sixreports that Walter and Mon have returned home. Yes, mon chichis, the duo is safely ensconced in Yemanja. And though, due to the matter of selling their share of a private jet, they were forced to fly commercial, it sounds like M and Dubs are going to be okay. Provided the plot to fake their own deaths, being hatched as we speak, goes off without a hitch. Otherwise I don't know what they're going to do. If anyone has any get rich quick schemes to speak of, let us know and we'll pass them on.

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