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A Special Opportunity

Even though 857 of you implored us to write about it at the time, when Charlie Gasparino said last week that discussing bonuses is "a stupid fucking debate," we made the editorial decision not to, because we didn't give a shit. This mostly had to do with the fact that it was approximately the fourth time in the course of a month that CG let one slip on air, and it was about as shocking as hearing that *someone* in Stamford enjoyed himself a Little Debbie at the close, i.e. not.
Then, this morning on Squawk Box, when Chaz up and came out with the downright absurd resolution to "go cold turkey on the expletives," we suddenly felt a loss for something we didn't even know we gave a rat's ass about, and it didn't feel good. Did this include 'ba fungool!' or are we just restricted to the English language, we wondered, feeling like we were going to throw up. While we're still shaking and sick to our stomachs, we've decided we can be victims or we can turn this around and make it work for us, by making things interesting. We haven't had it approved by CG yet but our proposal is this-- if Charlie "The Second Coming" Gasparino makes it 'til March 1 without breaking his vow, Dealbreaker readers will scrape together the funds to buy him a night of beverages at Elaine's and (/or) a pound of sopressata. If he slips before then, CG must do something, on-air, for us. You know what I want (a Champion sweatshirt appearance, sans sleeves), but I'm open to suggestions from the crowd.