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Back In The Crack Cave

Breathless from his presentation, the Safecracker faces the press in what was supposed to be a puff piece but has become something else entirely.
How could he explain the market's reaction? The hint that his "neck is on the line"?
Well, it's complicated, you see. Since we don't plan to "overpay" for assets, we are going to try to get private firms to overpay for them, which we will subsidize.
The earphone crackles again, "Down ten point one... ten point two..."
Are the banks corrupt and broken?
Sorta. Not really.
"...ten point four... ten point four four..."
It doesn't sound like you even have a plan figured out yet. Do you?
Steve, we are being very careful. Very cautious. We are going to consult widely. We are going to be open to suggestions. There are lots of ideas out there. No.
How about an example of how this will work?
One of the most acute challenges is the absence of the availability of capital.
No, I'm not kidding. He said that.
We will put together a carefully designed an entirely fictitious valuation for these assets.