BarCap Boys and Girls Getting The Royal Treatment

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As previously mentioned, in tough times like these, not in lieu of but perhaps in conjuntion with professional counseling, we invite you to lay down on the Dealbreaker couch and let it all out. If anyone else has a grievance they'd like to work through and/or more widely disseminate, send it our way. From the mailbag:

Much like BofA, the legacy Barclays folks got screwed this bonus season. Barcap bonus numbers were ~50% of what the Lehman people got, with 50% of that lower number deferred over the next two years, making the Barcap folks all feel like second class citizens.
Now what you may not be aware of, is that Barcap also switched over to the Lehman analyst system (3 years and you're out if you don't get an associate offer). By some magical coincidence (AKA 10-person analyst promotion board composed 80% ex-Lehmanites), hardly any of the third year Barcap analysts got promotion offers. They are being told that if they did not get a promotion offer, they will be done in June and will not be receiving any of the deferred portion of their comp. I don't know why you would put a number down on paper, just to slide it across a table to tell the person that this is what they will NOT be receiving, but that's exactly what they did.

When the numbers were being given out, many of the analysts were told by their group heads that the deferral had originated in London, that they honestly didn't think London had thought it through properly, and that they were going to fight to cancel the deferral for analysts. These same group heads have quietly gone back on their words. If an organization is going to (forgive my french) ASSFUCK analysts the way Barcap just did, I think people joining up should know.

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Lloyd Blankfein Finally Gets To Be The Prettiest Girl At The Ball

Time was, Jamie Dimon was the most popular CEO on Wall Street and America's "Least Hated Banker," for reasons that included the fact that the man has soulful blue eyes, charisma out the ass, and was in charge of one of the banks that a) didn't go out of business during the financial crisis, like Lehman and Bear and b) supposedly didn't actually need the bailout money the government made it take (as JD has said previously), like Bank of America and Citigroup. The man, in the hearts of many and especially the adoring press, could do no wrong. Which is why it probably stung a lot that Lloyd Blankfein, a Wall Street CEO who also possesses more charm than a person would know what do do with, who was also in charge of a bank that neither went out of business during the financial crisis nor required the bailout money it was forced to take (according to GS), and who is also the owner of a pair of baby blues, though in his case ones that sparkle, could only do wrong. And while LB is not one to gloat at another's misfortune, especially that of a friend, he's obviously feeling pretty good about being living proof of the old saying, "only one Wall Street CEO's balls can be in a vise at a time," and right now it's JD's turn. Dimon did not attend the annual Robin Hood Foundation party [last night], but Blankfein was there, enjoying a rare night out of the spotlight. He shook hands, introduced his wife and, grinning broadly, posed for pictures. For months, Goldman Sachs has been portrayed as the callous Wall Street behemoth whose executives collected giant bonuses while America's housing crisis worsened and unemployment rose. But Monday night was different. "No one cares about Lloyd tonight. It is Jamie against the world, and that's got to feel good for Lloyd," another hedge fund manager said. And this is just the beginning. First, they stop calling you Satan and claiming you poisoned their food, next glowing profiles and cover stories devoting major column inches to your rippling biceps and the throngs of women you beat off with a stick. Dimon Pushes Blankfein Off Hot Seat At Charity Gala [Reuters] Robin Hood Scene: Blankfein, Soros, Rihanna [Bloomberg/Photo]