Oh to the yes. We're told that Meredith Whitney Advisors, the den of iniquity being founded by our favorite Dollar Dominatrix, will employ MW's husband, pro-wrestler John "Layfield" Bradshaw. Cute! And they can carpool. But in what capacity with JLB be workin (it) for the wife? That point is unclear though, obviously, the possibilities are endless. For the unimaginative fucks in the group, he could be a broker (though MWA will start out with just research, the lady of the hour has said the long-term goal is to make it a full-service firm). Or: he could head of an in-house body guard detail, reprising the role he debuted when Dubs first made her bold call on Citi, and received several death threats. Or: he could be part of a team tasked with reporting on the sex potion market, in an attempt to corner the erectile dysfunction biz. Or: he could be the main selling point in MWA's platinum package, wherein clients receive not just research but an on site beat-down of their CEO of choice, by JLB, with their subscription. For those choosing option C, a preview of what Count Vikula can expect, after the jump.
Meredith Whitney: Citigroup Should Just Give Up
Earlier today, we wondered if, in light of the news that Vikram Pandit had resigned as CEO of Citigroup, analyst Meredith Whitney's opinion of the bank had changed. Choice comments that Whitney has made about the Big C in the past have included: "Citigroup is in such a mess Stephen Hawking couldn’t turn this company around"; "Citi is like an old broken-down Victorian house"; and Citi “has no earnings power, isn’t going to grow, hasn’t been investable in four years." She also once told Maria Bartiromo that the only way she'd change her mind about company would be if she received "a new brain." Still, sometimes analysts change their tune when new blood is brought in and, like former FDIC chair Sheila Bair, perhaps some of her beef with the bank had been a personal dislike of Uncle V. Now that he's gone, is she seeing Citigroup in a new light? Not so much, no. In the wake of CEO Vikram Pandit‘s surprise departure this morning, Whitney, founder and CEO of Meredith Whtney Advisory Group LLC, issued a note cautioning clients to be wary of Citigroup even under new leadership. “Citigroup is ‘the incredible shrinking bank,’ and the least interest of the big four, in our opinion,” Whitney said. “No CEO will be able to change these facts in the near-term. It appears the board feels the same way, as they have appointed an unknown to the outside to the new CEO position, Mike Corbat.” [...] On Tuesday, the stock has wavered between gains and losses on heavy trading volume in reaction to Pandit’s resignation. Shares are up 29% this year through Monday’s close. Despite signs of incremental improvement, Whitney isn’t backing down from her bearish stance. “Any seat in Citigroup’s court should come with a warning label,” Whitney says. Meredith Whitney: No CEO Can Fix Citigroup [WSJ] Earlier: Meredith Whitney Cannot Stress Enough How Little She Thinks Of Citigroup