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Attention SAC Capital employees working out of 72 Cummings Point Road today. Stop what you're doing and go line up in single file order on the floor because you are moments away from a very special treat. That's right-- celebratory rides on the Zamboni, which was brought over from Greenwich just for you. What's there to celebrate, you ask? Ping is back, baby! No, kidding. But it's still pretty (though not as) good. After finishing the year down 18.7 percent, SAC Capital International returned a relatively stellar 3.70 percent in January. And it doesn't stop there. The Big Guy is so proud that, provided this is the beginning of great things to come, he's considering converting the whole building into a rink, and making this rides-for-performance thing a regular feature (the flip side being that the Z, which will double as the BG's desk, will shoot out pucks at random at high speeds to keep everyone on their toes, and losing portfolios be forced to scrub it with clean after down months).


Phil Falcone Is Turning His Life Around

To put it lightly, the last couple years have been a rather dark time for Phil Falcone. Though his woes are too numerous to mention in full, they include: the adversity he's faced in getting people to believe in LightSquared; his unbelievably pissy investors, who still aren't over the time he borrowed $113 million from a gated fund to pay personal taxes, or offered to pay out redemptions in illiquid LightSquared equity; the Securities and Exchange Commission, which wants him banned from the industry for life; the woman who once offered a respite from it all, who now won't even come out of her room when she knows he's home; and, of course, the plunging returns in his once highly profitable hedge fund. It would be enough to make a grown man say 'Fuck, it. I'm done.' Put a few things in a sack, tie it to the blade of a hockey stick, and hitchhike back to Minnesota. But Phil didn't do that and now? After a merciless storm of shit that felt like it would never ease up? After long days of investors and regulators breathing down his neck and nights of having to pound on the front door because he was accidentally purposely locked out of the house? The tide feels like it's turning for Philip Falcone. Beleaguered hedge fund honcho Phil Falcone’s big bet on his own publicly traded entity, Harbinger Group, is helping to lift his troubled hedge fund, Harbinger Capital Management, out of the deep end. Falcone’s flagship fund posted returns of 10.6 percent in July and a whopping 28 percent gain in June. Of course, he's still down 5.8 percent year-to-date, and the the director of the SEC's division of enforcement wants hedge fund graduate schools to use Harbinger as a case study during the unit on "how to operate a hedge fund unlawfully," but tonight? Tonight he tells Lisa to treat herself to something nice. Tonight he tells Wilbur to pull the baby grand out of the closet, where it's sat untouched for months. Tonight his key works in the lock. Tonight we dance. Phil Helps Himself [NYP]