Second Verse, Same As The First?

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Here's hoping, if you're up to get down with some batshit-manifest! We're a little late for round two; I'm okay with this but if we missed anything besides "When I say 'b' you say 'lah' 'b!' 'lah!' 'b!' 'lah!'" let us know.
Rep. Dennis Moore: How much taxpayer money did your company receive in the last five months, and how much money did you personally steal from us in 2008?
Stumpf: Wells Fargo received $25 billion and I got $850,000 in comp, my bonus will be decided in February.
Pandit: $45 bn in TARP; my salary was a million, no bonus. And, like I said before, $1 in salary next year, no bonus.
Mack: $10 bn in TARP. My salary was $800,00, no bonus (just like last year).
Logue: $2 bn in TARP, one million in salary, no bonus.
Lewis: $15 bn in TARP (*for 2008*), $1.5 million salary, no incentives.

Kelly
: $3 bn in TARP, my salary is $1 million, no bonus.
Dimon: $25 bn in TARP, my salary is $1 million, no bonus
Blankfein: $10 bn in TARP, $600,000 salary, no bonus.
Rep. Michael Capuano, Maxine Water's brother from another mother: Are any of you lending money for credit default swaps? How many of you directly or indirectly engaged in CDOs? And how many of your banks had or currently have special investment vehicles, those off the books unregulated subsidiaries of the banks. So basically, all or most of you engaged in the fraud that caused this crisis. I CAN'T BELIEVE NO ONE'S PROSECUTED YOU. Oh, but we'll find out...we'll find out!...You'll be answering these questions in court some day. You come to us on your bicycles, selling girl scout cookies, after helping Mother Theresa, and you're saying we won't do it again? And we're supposed to believe you? Are we? You learned your lesson? Did you? And now you're saying 'sorry, trust us, we don't want the money.' INTERESTING. No one's ever come to me and said you must take billions of dollars. NO ONE'S EVER SAID THAT TO ME!!! I don't really have a question, but I was told I could have the five minutes.


Rep. William Lacy: Look me in the eye, give it to me straight. How many more losses are out there?
Stumpf: This is all about jobs. (Remember, I'm pro-jobs.)
Pandit: I have to agree, it's about unemployment. But this cycle is different, so it's difficult to forecast (could Citi have no more losses? Who's to say, really? If you want a number, I'll go with 50 bn, next quarter.)
Mack: I agree with my colleagues.
Moving on:
Rep. Joe Baca: Did you think the bailout was necessary?
Blankfein: Not at the time...now I do.
Lewis agrees with Blankfein.
Baca: You've said a lot of the probs have been from the credit lines. WELL- most of you have been guilty of peddling credit cards like crack to junkie whores, for example, my daughter, who received an offer for a free credit card in the mail a few years back. What do you have to say to that?
[blank stares]

The Congressmen have to go vote on something, so we're adjourned 'til then.
While we wait, here's the text of Capuano's planned remarks, which were cut short by the five-minute time limit, for your viewing pleasure:
"No Mr. Frank, my time's not up. You know what you can do with your five minutes? You can take them, and shove them up your ass-- I'm finished when I say I'm finished. Now, where was I? Oh right, the crooks before me who, mark my words, are going to be made prison bitches if it's the last thing I do. Oh, you're sorry? You're sorry? YOU'RE SORRY? Too little, too late, cockbags. Are you laughing, Pandit? ARE YOU DARING TO LAUGH AT ME? Okay, I have more rhetorical questions that I want answers to-- how many of you have fucked your mothers? How many? I'll take your silence to mean all. How many of you directly participated in the Third Reich? Oh, you were too young to have done so? Bull shit, all of it! More questions: specifically, who among you would rather blow a goat than put in one day of honest work? The answer is all of you, you LYING, THIEVING, SICKS SONS OF BITCHES. Answer me! No, shut up. I said shut up, Lewis. You know what I have a right mind to do? Come down, and take off my belt and go down the line and make each and every one of you pay. I'm not going to do that because there are armed guards in here but so help me Barney Frank I want to. Do you understand me? Don't answer that, just shut up! I said SHUT UP, go fuck yourselves."

Related

Wall Street Journal Columnist Can't Believe He Has To Breathe The Same Air As Worthless Pieces Of Shit That Are Today's College Grads

Once upon a time, as in two years ago, Wall Street Journal foreign-affairs columnist Bret Stephens hired an intern from West Point who blew him away with her accomplishments and talent. When she wasn't performing "field exercises in which she kept a bullet proof vest on at all times, even while sleeping" she was writing "brilliantly" and was one of the most "self-effacing" people Stephens had ever met. Currently, the former intern is fighting the Taliban in Afghanistan and to this day, whenever Stephens thinks of her, he is awed and impressed, as most people would be. Unfortunately, he probably won't have the opportunity to hire another individual of her caliber, because approximately 99% of this woman's generation is made up of despicable low-life scumbags who exist to make Stephens sick. Take a guy Bret interviewed a couple months back. Kid had an "astonishingly high GPA from an Ivy League university and aspirations to write about Middle East politics." The two got to chatting about Suez Crisis of '56 and over the course of the chat it became apparent that this kid "didn't know who was the president of the United States in 1956. And he didn't know who succeeded that president." Know where that guy is now? In Bret Stephens's meat locker, as he well should be. And while Stephens hasn't had the opportunity to interview each and every member of the Class of 2012, he's doesn't have to in order to know what they're all about, which is being a bunch of degenerate jerk-offs who suck at their parents' teat because they can't get the jobs they don't deserve that aren't available because they are commies who voted for Obama. Sayth Stephens: Dear Class of 2012: Allow me to be the first one not to congratulate you. Through exertions that—let's be honest—were probably less than heroic, most of you have spent the last few years getting inflated grades in useless subjects in order to obtain a debased degree. Now you're entering a lousy economy, courtesy of the very president whom you, as freshmen, voted for with such enthusiasm. Please spare us the self-pity about how tough it is to look for a job while living with your parents. They're the ones who spent a fortune on your education only to get you back— return-to-sender, forwarding address unknown...If you're like [West Point] intern, please feel free to feel sorry for yourself. Just remember she doesn't. Unfortunately, dear graduates, chances are you're nothing like her. And don't you ever forget it, pieces of garbage. To read through your CVs, dear graduates, is to be assaulted by endless Advertisements for Myself. Here you are, 21 or 22 years old, claiming to have accomplished feats in past summer internships or at your school newspaper that would be hard to credit in a biography of Walter Lippmann or Ernie Pyle...In every generation there's a strong tendency for everyone to think like everyone else. But your generation has an especially bad case, because your mass conformism is masked by the appearance of mass nonconformism. It's a point I learned from my West Point intern, when I asked her what it was like to lead such a uniformed existence. Her answer stayed with me: Wearing a uniform, she said, helped her figure out what it was that really distinguished her as an individual. Now she's a second lieutenant, leading a life of meaning and honor, figuring out how to Think Different for the sake of a cause that counts. Not many of you will be able to follow in her precise footsteps, nor do you need to do so. But if you can just manage to tone down your egos, shape up your minds, and think unfashionable thoughts, you just might be able to do something worthy with your lives. And even get a job. Good luck! Stephens: To The Class Of 2012 [WSJ]