Here's hoping, if you're up to get down with some batshit-manifest! We're a little late for round two; I'm okay with this but if we missed anything besides "When I say 'b' you say 'lah' 'b!' 'lah!' 'b!' 'lah!'" let us know.
Rep. Dennis Moore: How much taxpayer money did your company receive in the last five months, and how much money did you personally steal from us in 2008?
Stumpf: Wells Fargo received $25 billion and I got $850,000 in comp, my bonus will be decided in February.
Pandit: $45 bn in TARP; my salary was a million, no bonus. And, like I said before, $1 in salary next year, no bonus.
Mack: $10 bn in TARP. My salary was $800,00, no bonus (just like last year).
Logue: $2 bn in TARP, one million in salary, no bonus.
Lewis: $15 bn in TARP (*for 2008*), $1.5 million salary, no incentives.
Kelly: $3 bn in TARP, my salary is $1 million, no bonus.
Dimon: $25 bn in TARP, my salary is $1 million, no bonus
Blankfein: $10 bn in TARP, $600,000 salary, no bonus.
Rep. Michael Capuano, Maxine Water's brother from another mother: Are any of you lending money for credit default swaps? How many of you directly or indirectly engaged in CDOs? And how many of your banks had or currently have special investment vehicles, those off the books unregulated subsidiaries of the banks. So basically, all or most of you engaged in the fraud that caused this crisis. I CAN'T BELIEVE NO ONE'S PROSECUTED YOU. Oh, but we'll find out...we'll find out!...You'll be answering these questions in court some day. You come to us on your bicycles, selling girl scout cookies, after helping Mother Theresa, and you're saying we won't do it again? And we're supposed to believe you? Are we? You learned your lesson? Did you? And now you're saying 'sorry, trust us, we don't want the money.' INTERESTING. No one's ever come to me and said you must take billions of dollars. NO ONE'S EVER SAID THAT TO ME!!! I don't really have a question, but I was told I could have the five minutes.
Rep. William Lacy: Look me in the eye, give it to me straight. How many more losses are out there?
Stumpf: This is all about jobs. (Remember, I'm pro-jobs.)
Pandit: I have to agree, it's about unemployment. But this cycle is different, so it's difficult to forecast (could Citi have no more losses? Who's to say, really? If you want a number, I'll go with 50 bn, next quarter.)
Mack: I agree with my colleagues.
Rep. Joe Baca: Did you think the bailout was necessary?
Blankfein: Not at the time...now I do.
Lewis agrees with Blankfein.
Baca: You've said a lot of the probs have been from the credit lines. WELL- most of you have been guilty of peddling credit cards like crack to junkie whores, for example, my daughter, who received an offer for a free credit card in the mail a few years back. What do you have to say to that?
The Congressmen have to go vote on something, so we're adjourned 'til then. While we wait, here's the text of Capuano's planned remarks, which were cut short by the five-minute time limit, for your viewing pleasure:
"No Mr. Frank, my time's not up. You know what you can do with your five minutes? You can take them, and shove them up your ass-- I'm finished when I say I'm finished. Now, where was I? Oh right, the crooks before me who, mark my words, are going to be made prison bitches if it's the last thing I do. Oh, you're sorry? You're sorry? YOU'RE SORRY? Too little, too late, cockbags. Are you laughing, Pandit? ARE YOU DARING TO LAUGH AT ME? Okay, I have more rhetorical questions that I want answers to-- how many of you have fucked your mothers? How many? I'll take your silence to mean all. How many of you directly participated in the Third Reich? Oh, you were too young to have done so? Bull shit, all of it! More questions: specifically, who among you would rather blow a goat than put in one day of honest work? The answer is all of you, you LYING, THIEVING, SICKS SONS OF BITCHES. Answer me! No, shut up. I said shut up, Lewis. You know what I have a right mind to do? Come down, and take off my belt and go down the line and make each and every one of you pay. I'm not going to do that because there are armed guards in here but so help me Barney Frank I want to. Do you understand me? Don't answer that, just shut up! I said SHUT UP, go fuck yourselves."