When I Say "Dance, Puppets," You Dance

Author:
Updated:
Original:

And when I say "shoot this poison into your face," you shoot this poison into your face. Or don't, it's really your call. Only those of you interested in finding/keeping a job should listen. You wanna be a working girl, boys? You're going to have to start acting like one. In a fabulous piece of service journalism today, the Financial Timessuggests that you, my little boy(girl)s, hightail it to the nearest plastic surgeon and get yourselves some Botox.
According to Peter Burling gainful employment is all about "look[in] good-- fresh and bright" and not "tired and stressed out." And if you don't think your competition is already there, how wrong you are. By cosmetic surgeon Cap Lesesne's estimate, "There are definitely more business guys coming in and they have very focused demands. They are worried about their job futures and their professional longevity. [Typical male patients] might be in their mid-forties. They're fairly successful and they're looking to work into their sixties." And if you really want to guard against joining the unemployment line, start dressing like a total whore, and remember, no one ever lost their job, or didn't get a call back, for accidentally shoving their breasts in the boss's, or interviewer's face.
Use the photo above as a guide, Men of Dealbreaker. That should be you on the left.

Related