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Damn You Wachovia. Damn You To Hell.

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I never thought we'd be giving Wachovia this much credit but something important happened last week when one of its analysts successfully met the challenge to eat 3 cans of cat food in thirty minutes. He ruined food-related attempts at gastrointestinal feats of fortitude forever.
Let's be honest-- no one's going to do anything grosser than that. So say you endeavor to accomplish the same challenge. At best, you're successful, but you're no better than the anonymous Wach kid. At worse, you fail, you suck, and you just ate a bunch (but less than three cans) of cat food. What's the point? And is there any glory left in eating a bunch of vending machine items? We don't think so (and most of you have proved you can't even do that).
Nevertheless. Right now, at an unnamed hedge fund, a research associate and his boss are squaring off in an attempt to eat 28 vending items (itemized after the jump), in under six hours. The gun went off at 12:12 PM. We'll keep you posted.
Update,1:28 PM: One hour and sixteen minutes into the challenge, the associate "...doesn't feel good. Coconut Toffee Peanuts took all the wind out of my sails. Currently switch-hitting between Cheezits and Reeses Miniatures. Working on numero siete y ocho."
Update, 2:09 PM: Ten items down for the associate. Boss saying he doesn't know if he can do it.
Update, 3:54 PM: Boss: 17 items completed. Is concerned about Hershey Kisses, Moon pie, and Tasty Cakes.
Associate: 14 items completed. Threw up in mouth and tasted almonds.
Update, 4:14 PM:Boss throws in towel. Last seen "abusing tobacco products and talking to wife."

Peanut Butter Moon Pie
Lorna Dunne Shortbread Cookies
Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Miniatures
TastyCake Creme filled cupcakes
Planters Salted peanuts
Sweet & Creamy Peanut Butter Crackers
Peanut Butter and Honey Crackers
Sourdough Pretzels
Sunchips Alpha
Sunchips Beta
Cocunut Toffee Peanuts
Famous Amos
Reeses Fast Break
Ruffles Cheddar and Sour Cream
Trail's Best Beef and Cheese
Lays Classic
Vienna Cremes
Peanut Butter Crackers
Hersheys with Almonds
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
Fudge Shop with Stripes