"No, Really, I've Got A Bit That'll Blow The Masturbating Bear Outta The Water"

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Obviously we must take into consideration that the Post uses its column inches to go after rivals, including by not limited to Fox Business's competition at CNBC, and therefor the following may not be true. That being said, we pray to the god of Gasparino it is. As you know, Dylan Ratigan has never tried to hide his desire to be a late night TV host. But we assumed it was, like, a pipe dream, no more likely to come true than Jimmy Cayne passing a drug test, and not something D-Rat actually though possible. Apparently, that may not be the case. According to Page Six, in addition to his producer being "rude and disrespectful," Ratigan also "bolted [from the network last week] because he was pissed off he didn't get Conan O'Brien's slot since he really wants to do a talk show."

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