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Ruth Madoff Just Wants Her God Damn Cheese

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Everyone's up in arms today and the lot of you think your lives, and the world, are over. Well let me give you a little perspective. There's an old lady on the Upper East Side with actual problems. Her name is Ruth and all she wanted to do last night was put on her hat and grab a hunk of Jarlsberg and a bottle of wine, kick back and think about how different her life could've been if she'd married Benjamin Lipshitz. She was also thinking about doing some laundry for the first time, though that plan was foiled, thank god.

Ruth Madoff, looking like a desperate housewife, went grocery shopping last night, just hours after her swindler husband, Bernard, learned he would have to stay in jail, at least for now.
She left the Upper East Side penthouse she's struggling to hold onto at about 8:30 p.m. and walked to a Food Emporium.
Photographers spotted Ruth, whose nearly $93 million in assets have come under government scrutiny, dropping American and Jarlsberg cheese into her cart. She was carrying a shopping list, with detergent the top item. But she stormed out after seeing the shutterbugs.
"Oh, this is crazy, forget this!" she fumed. "Oh, very exciting, I went to the grocery store."


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