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The Cult Of The Beard

Yep. He's back. As usual, we listen so you don't have to.
There he is! There he is! Oh no, now his wife bleached his tie accidentally.
Wyden: Well, the Chairman was otherwise occupied (fly fishing), so I'm going to grandstand for a little while. Look, we want some damn good news, so get to it. CNBC's ratings suck. How do you like that? Let me quote a little Buffett (I'll avoid the reference to VD). You need to get more people borrowing. We need more debt. Get to it!
Gregg: So is the debt going to just screw us or what?
Beard: I know, let's talk about the new cool BARFTARF program that we invented the other day. After that, my long, mind numbing recitation of figures like non-core inflation and durable goods orders will defeat your weak Grandstand-Fu! Since I am reading my prepared statement, none of your questions will be answered. Hah!
Gregg: How long are we going to be breastfeeding AIG?
Beard: The situation is fluid.
Gregg: Why can't you tell us who AIG is pouring money to? Who are the counterparties? I want names. We are here for the names.

[crackle] *whisper* "Yes, sir. Yes, sir, I'm right behind him. Yes, it's loaded. Yes, sir. No names. I understand. Yes, sir."
Beard: Hey, these people didn't do anything illegal. So shut it.
[crackle] *whisper* "No, sir. All clear. He held up."
Gregg: The Fed better come clean. We don't take crazy risks like AIG up in Oregon, let me tell you.
Graham: How much can we actually borrow?
Beard: Well, 100% of GDP is a bit unhealthy. Let's not do that.
Graham: What's a zombie look like, Mr. Chairman?
Beard: Decaying. Missing eyeball. Smells of rot. You know.
Graham: So, is AIG a zombie?
Beard: No.
Graham: If AIG is not a zombie, what is?
Beard: I don't know...?
Sanders: Hey, who'd ya lend the $2.2 trillion to? Will you tell us?
Beard: No.
Sanders: Do you have to be a big, greedy reckless financial institution to borrow that money?
Beard: Basically.