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Hold Their Hand. Stroke Their Hair. Be There To Wipe Their Tears.

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As you're aware, Bank of Amerillwide is a serious business, and it's serious about it's business of makin' money. Apparently central to that goal, in BAC's opinion, is treating your underlings like (circle one) a small child/person you're trying to bang/invalid, which is why the firm has distributed the following suggestions for interfacing on the job. If you see anything missing from this list, feel free to speak up.


Soon-To-Be Laid Off Morgan Stanley Employees Have Investors To Thank For Newfound Time On Their Hands

In particular those from Moore Capital, JP Morgan Asset Management, and Epoch Investment Partners.