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How Neel Kashkari Held It Together Before Congress

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Friday is Neel Kashkari's last day at the Treasury. This is, of course, deeply disappointing for those of you who feel strongly about having follically-challenged men at the helm of things, as we're now down to a single Bald. But cheer up, pups. TARP-boy's retirement means one very important thing-- anecdotes about $Kari's time on the job! Like this:

The first time Neel Kashkari, the head of the Treasury Department's bailout operations, was called to testify before an oversight committee on Capitol Hill, he placed an index card on the table in front of him with the words: "The louder he yells at me, the calmer I will be."

Of course, we're only privy to what was written on Kashkari's index card before his first time being screamed at (while strung up by his balls) live on C-SPAN. Because the Washington Post is a family paper, and wouldn't feel comfortable writing, "Just be happy they're not calling you 'Ber-na-ke.' Everything in perspective, Kash," "Serenity Now Kashkari, Serenity Fucking Now!" "3, 2, 1, 1, 2, 3, what the heck is bothering me? [insert congressional crazy of choice, breathe deep, and smile]," "Don't have a meltdown-- you don't want to give that crazy ho the impression she's not alone."