It's All Coming Together

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Sotheby's announced in a regulatory filing today that it will slash its dividend to 20 cents a year from 60 cents and cut 5 percent of its global headcount, on top of a 15 percent population restructuring last year. Surely it goes without saying but we'll do so anyway-- we know who's behind this. Before jumping to conclusions, however, know that this wasn't done out of maliciousness or even as a ruthless cost cutting measure. Money, in fact, had nothing to do with it. Rather, it's part of a master plan going under the working title Operation Play Auction House. Slowly but surely everyone everyone will be cleared out and by next year you'll be able to mosey on up to 72nd and York, press your nose against the glass and behold as you know who will be scurrying around the building playing the roles of security guard, curator, pressed sandwich Nazi, auctioneer and, using various wigs and affecting British accents, five different bidders.

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