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JPMorgan Doesn't Give A Rat's Ass If You've Got Sticky Fingers, Were Hoping To See The New Exhibt At The Met On The Cheap

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JPMorgan has supposedly "cut back support of various museums" (thereby screwing employees who previously enjoyed free or deeply discounted admission with a flash of their JPM IDs) and "napkins throughout the building." Apparently, as some sort of coping mechanism, mini-Dimons have been "joking that you are going to have to bring your own toilet paper soon." Not exactly sure why they're so cavalierly kidding around about the prospect of BYOTP, since it's something other firms have wholeheartedly embraced, but whatever helps bear the pain!