Skip to main content

Karma Is An Inedible Slice Of "Pizza" Best Served Cold

  • Author:
  • Updated:

The following weekend update is brought to you by commenter anal_yst. Something new we're trying out.
By now you've all undoubtedly read with great outrage that Larry Summers made a few mil' last year, and/or whatever other headlines populate the front page of your favorite business news website. I won't regurgitate shit you already know. Besides, there's something else that's been bothering me lately that just isn't getting the kind of attention it deserves.
I'd been writing a post chastising Dominos Pizza about their new(ish) "Big Taste Bailout" commercial and sales campaign. "I'm not bailing out the fat-cats on Wall Street...sorry Mr. Hedge fund," the CEO says in the commercial. Sounds like some of the uninformed nonsense I heard when I was snapping pictures at the Protest on Wall Street yesterday (ya know, the one that wasn't technically, ON Wall Street). Yes, I realize there's actually some truth in what he's saying, but the pitchfork & torch crowd has more than enough to be pissed off about already without the pizza delivery guy stoking the fire.
Imagine my surprise and tempered excitement when I learned that their pandering Bailout BS has come back to bite them in the ass.

Fine, they only had to give away 11,000 free pizzas so they're probably thinking "BFD," but it's the principle that counts here. If someone out in the abyss has a great sense of humor, Dominos will be the next company lining up in front of Congress begging for a suckle at the Government teat. Alas, I have far too much faith in the seemingly unquenchable hunger of my fellow bottomless pits Countrymen to expect their business to suffer enough to drive them to such acts of desperation.
While we're at it, we might as well take a look at how much chedda' Dominos CEO, David Brandon pulled in last year while his Firm's stock lost ~50% of its value. What's that? He banked ~$20 million? Oh, oh my, that IS quite a lot of money! And this from that friendly guy in the commercial pointing fingers at "Wall Street Fat Cats?" GASP! Wait, he's also on the Board of Directors of 4 other large publicly traded corporations? Oh my! Does being domiciled in Michigan somehow disqualify this guy from "Fat Cat" status? Talk amongst yourselves.


Hot "New" "Tech" Company Sells "Edible" Pizza

By bulking up tech operations, Domino's is making it easier for you to put down the bong and order bad pizza.

Which CFA Prep Course Is the Best?

Let us help you in your quest for glory.

Former Bears Stearns Employee Victim Of Harassment By Pizza

If you were going to try and extort money Bear Stears alum, how would you do it? Would you call him at his new job and talk trash about his wife? Would you call his house and tell his wife he was running around on her with another woman? Would you call his mother-in-law in New Jersey and breathe heavily into the phone? Or would you bring out the big guns and start sending pizzas, sometimes 20 at a time, to his home in New Canaan, as a sign you really meant business? Donato Anthony Minicozzi chose all of the above.