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Opening Bell: 04.06.09

Geithner Warns Of Executive Ousting. Again. (FT)
There's too many things wrong with all this to single out just one, overly devastating line of bullshit. For instance: the banks don't need any more money, and if they do, they need to fail (and yes, I realize all too well the inherent consequences). There's also the idea that asking banks to mark LIII assets to anything remotely resembling 40 cents will most likely set off a chain of events whereby banks will need more capital, or will fail. That kind of thinking aside, this sets a remarkable (and remember: there's no taksey-backseys) precedent and opens the door for all kinds of other absolutely insane tactics.
"We've done that because we want to make sure that taxpayers' assistance is going to make these companies stronger, make sure there's accountability, make sure it comes with strong conditions," he said. "And we'll do that in the future if that is necessary. It's a single standard, a single principle. And our obligation to the American people is to do what's necessary to try to bring recovery back on track as quickly as possible."
All Debt's Not Built The Same (Bloomberg)
"Morgan Stanley's five-year swaps, the equivalent of insurance against its bonds defaulting, are trading at 3.7 percentage points a year, compared with 1.9 percentage points for JPMorgan bonds, according to prices provided by CMA DataVision of New York. The spread means it costs $180,000 more each year to protect $10 million of Morgan Stanley debt than to insure the debt of JPMorgan."
Yellow Pages In Deep Shit (The Independent)
"The board of Yell, the quoted Yellow Pages and directories owner, is understood to be mulling the appointment of restructuring experts to ease the terms of its £4.3bn debt burden.
It is thought that there are fears that falling sales could lead to a breach of an earnings test due in six to nine months. Loans to companies are made on the condition of hitting certain targets throughout the repayment period, often including earnings forecast in their business plans."
Google Is Either Buying Twitter, Or it Isn't (Reuters)
I'll shorten this for you; it doesn't really need 1 whole page. Some guy reported Google was buying Twitter, and then some chick said it wasn't happening. Neither of the two companies is saying much other than "we're just having fun sharing technology and, you know, doing random bestiality stuff."
IBM/SUN Deal Falls Apart For Now (WSJ)
First, we need to acknowledge that the situation is "fluid" (second paragraph, last sentence). Moving on: Sun brings some serious shit to the table, the company just hasn't been run very well in days of recent past - I don't know that the acquisition of StorageTek helped. At any rate, IBM has pulled their offer and Sun has announced their open to offers from anyone, so we'll see where this shit-storm takes us.
"Sun's board is split over whether to do the deal, with a faction led by Sun's chairman and co-founder, Scott McNealy, opposing the transaction and a group led by Chief Executive Jonathan Schwartz in favor, said two people familiar with the talks. While the price of IBM's offer remained unclear -- some placed it at $9.10 a share, others at $9.40 -- some people familiar with the talks say price wasn't the biggest issue."
Limiting Short Selling (NYT)
Obviously we should overreact. I mean, just re-instating he up-tick rule would be crazy. We desperately need 20 maybe 30 pages of regulations instead. Please.
"On Wednesday, the Securities and Exchange Commission plans to announce several proposals to permanently restrict traders from making bets that stock prices will decline when those prices are already dropping.
The proposed restrictions on these so-called short sales follow a lobbying campaign by financial institutions and other companies, which have experienced sharp declines in their stock prices, and their allies in Congress."
Schumer Chastises Wall Street Friends (Bloomberg)