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That's Gotta Hurt

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As if the taint of having been taken by Madoff weren't bad enough, five fund of funds have now essentially been relegated to worse than cow status.

Standard & Poor's Fund Services has downgraded five fund of hedge funds (FoHFs) to the category of "not rated" because of their exposure to Madoff exposed vehicles and lax due dilligence.
The funds affected are Bonhote Alternative Multi-Arbitrage, Constantia Composite, the Constantia Low Volatility, DGC Pendulum, Dinvest Concentrated Opportunities, Dinvest Total Return and RMF Four Seasons.

Earlier: We rate every deal. It could be structured by cows and we would rate it.

Seven FoHFs downgraded by S&P
[Hedge Fund Reviews]


Pimco: Bill Gross Can't Hurt Us Anymore

The firm claims to have picked up the pieces and moved on with its life, following the departure of Bill "I'm like Secretariat out there" Gross.

"Warren Buffett’s bodyguard punched me in the head, and it hurt"

Thinking about getting pawsy with Warren Buffett? Here's a delightful first-person account of what might be in store for you. The bodyguard, Dan Clark, didn’t mean for it to hurt, he was just demonstrating a fighting move called the brachial stun. That’s a strike to the side of the neck using a chopping motion with the hands — but when Clark hit me with it in a slow speed demonstration, the sudden burst of force whipped my whole head to the right, crashing my teeth together so hard that I thought I would lose a filling. That’s what Dan Clark is like — even his demonstrations are intense. He’s the kind of guy who throws around phrases like the “muay Thai clench with a double knee strike,” and who, when he emails you to invite you to his training session, reminds you politely to bring a cup. All of it — the gym, the training, and especially the punch — combine to send a clear message: Don’t mess with Buffett, or any of Clark’s other clients. And that’s kind of the point. Billionaire Security: Behind the Scenes with Warren Buffett’s Bodyguard [CNBC]