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Have you ever wondered what it would be like to watch hundreds of people auto-fellate all at the same time? Or would this be characterized as a 1000-man circle jerk? If you have a pulse, you know that today was CNBC's twentieth anniversary. Modesty never being one of the network's strong points, we've been regaled with tales 'round the clock of how great it was then, and how great it is now. Every single guest made sure to mention it before moving on to discuss what he or she'd been invited on to talk about, and in the rare events they failed to do so, you almost expected the host at that time to clear his or her throat, offer an "ahem" and an "I'm waiting..." and a "what, no gift?" The above was the climax of today's celebration.

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