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Watch This Video Right Now

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to watch hundreds of people auto-fellate all at the same time? Or would this be characterized as a 1000-man circle jerk? If you have a pulse, you know that today was CNBC's twentieth anniversary. Modesty never being one of the network's strong points, we've been regaled with tales 'round the clock of how great it was then, and how great it is now. Every single guest made sure to mention it before moving on to discuss what he or she'd been invited on to talk about, and in the rare events they failed to do so, you almost expected the host at that time to clear his or her throat, offer an "ahem" and an "I'm waiting..." and a "what, no gift?" The above was the climax of today's celebration.


Jim Cramer Weeps

And Now, Please Watch This Video Of Jim Cramer Weeping With With Inchoate Joy

May you ever love something as much as the Mad Dog of Wall Street loves his Eagles.