Wells Fargo: Keep Your Eyes, Hands (And Any Other Appendages That Might Be Used To Operate A Blackberry) Where We Can See Them

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Wells Fargo is apparently implementing some new cost cutting and productivity strategies today. The former is going down in the form of layoffs at Evergreen Securities in Charlotte. The latter is much more inspired. From the front lines:

Among the new rules, and what I view as the most important, is that you aren't allowed to look down at your Blackberry during a meeting. If you do look down, you have to write a check for $100 to the charity of the meeting manager's choice. You are allowed a 5 minute productivity break where you are either allowed to check your Blackberry, or go to the bathroom. One break per meeting. It is yet to be determined whether or not you are allowed to check your Blackberry while going to the bathroom, so long as it fits in the allotted time...we'll let you know when HR gives us their report with our afternoon nap.

Related: Let this be a cautionary tale to all-- extensive use of the 'berry will result in your investment bank going under


Former Deutsche Bank Exec And LAPD Not Yet Seeing Eye To Eye On "Savage Beating" Incident

According to the police, they found Brian Mulligan high on bath salts after "several" calls had been placed about a man in the area "trying to break into cars" that fit Mulligan's description. He supposedly told them he was "tired," which they say is why they drove him to a motel to get some shuteye. When he (allegedly) emerged hours later and started running through traffic despite officers' orders to get out of the street, later assuming a "fight stance," they decided it was necessary to deal with him in an aggressive manner. Didn't want to, felt they owed it to him. According to Mulligan, this is what happened: