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What Should Bernie Madoff's Dealbreaker Column Be About?

As has been noted 'round these parts, over the last several months, noted hooker fucker Eliot Spitzer has been trying his darndest to re-inject himself into society as a remade, non-prostie bangin' man. Mostly notably, Ness has done this by taking up a perch at Slate, which is known for doling out column inches to people with spotted pasts. Some are wondering today if Bernie Madoff will make the same attempt at public rehabilitation next year, and which outlet will offer him the space from which to do it. Obviously, that outlet is Dealbreaker. We'd be more than happy to give the Ponzier a home up in this piece. But, the question is, what should the column be about? While righting the wrongs of Wall Street and waxing hypocritical about crime and punishment get Spitzer off just fine, we're thinking Ponzi-boy is sick of finance and is looking to branch out. Since you people will be the ones to read it, what would you like Berns to write about? Sex? Travel? Grab-bag life advice column?