Well, this is upsetting. We're big on babies and formalities, so had we known Dick Parsons was having a lovechild with model MacDella Cooper, we would've sent over a nice note and maybe a plush stuffed duck or something, like we've done in the past for all our favorite bank chairmen and CEOs. Now, it's too late, and we look like assholes. This is why we need to be kept abreast of such situations.
Xenophobic S&P Prefers American-Born Racks
U.S. stocks experience significantly better returns during years when an American model graces the cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue than during years when the magazine cover features a foreign model, history shows. The S&P 500 had an average return of 14.3 percent during the 17 years since 1978 that featured an American, with positive returns a whopping 88 percent of the time, according to the Bespoke Investment Group blog. That’s about four percentage points above the average return during the years that featured a model from another country. The difference would be even greater, if not for the failure of the indicator in 2008, when the S&P 500 plunged 37 percent after Sports Illustrated featured American-born Marisa Miller and Lehman Brothers collapsed. Last year, Russia’s Irina Shayk graced the cover and the U.S. benchmark subsequently returned a disappointing 2.1 percent.