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A Job Opening And A Reminder: It Could Be So Much Worse

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Yes, your boss might verbally abuse and berate you in front of the team for one down month. She might shove her stiletto up your ass for daring to disagree with her outlook on Vikram Pandit's hairline. He might throw an empty bottle of whatever's on his desk at your head for even hinting that buying another investment bank might not be the best way to ingratiate himself to shareholders. He may smash every monitor within arm's length when unprecedented market volatility doesn't land in his favor, such that walking into his office without shoes would be extremely dangerous. But he most likely doesn't pull this shtick.*

The CEO of the nation's largest linen company went berserk and brutally beat his housemaid in his posh Upper East Side apartment -- leaving her with swelling on the brain, officials said. George Bardwil, 57, who runs Bardwil Home, was charged with second degree assault in Sunday's savage attack that left the maid unconscious in a pool of blood. The maid - who was only on her second day on the job - told police that when she arrived for work that afternoon, Bardwil opened the door and began pummeling her. After repeatedly striking her on the head and face, Bardwil then dragged her across the floor to the living room where she blacked out.
Bardwil initially told police he found the maid lying on the floor when he came out of the shower and called for help...But he later admitted that he struck the woman because she had stolen money from him. "She saw where I kept an envelope with $5,500 in it. I know she took it. When she wouldn't admit it, I hit her three times in the head with my closed fist," he said.

Linen CEO Beat His Maid [NYP via Cityfile]
*Or does he? In which case, give us a call. We're good listeners!


Things Could Be Worse But They Could Also Be Better At SAC Capital Right Now

The good news, if you are Mr. Steve Cohen: you were neither charged nor "mentioned by name" in the criminal complaint against your former employee, Mathew Martoma. The less good news: YOU ARE PORTFOLIO MANAGER A. YOU NEVER WANT TO BE PORTFOLIO MANAGER A!