Skip to main content

Blow A Sad Trombone For Business Schools Across The Country

  • Author:
  • Updated:

Zumbach, 28, who gets his MBA in June, got hit with a harsh economic reality. "The pay scales just aren't there and even the jobs aren't there, especially in the financial services sector," he laments.

Steve Gellert, who will be graduating with an MBA from Cornell University's Johnson School, found campus recruiting to be a bust. Many recruiters weren't looking for full time hires, so he had to turn to sites like and
"I've applied to 15 or so jobs and haven't heard back," he says.

"I was fortunate enough to have three full-time job offers, one with a major consulting firm, one with the Secret Service and one with the National Park Service," says Patty Foglesong, who is graduating from the Darden Graduate School of Business at the University of Virginia on May 17. She'll be taking a job at the park service as a business management specialist in the Intermountain Region Office in Denver.

"When I signed up for this thing to years ago I figured it'd be two years of jerking off that would culminate in landing sweet gig with a bloated salary, the only drawbacks of which would be fitting in the hours in my schedule to make stops at p-town," Bob Cobb, who will graduate from Harvard Business School this June said. "Now I'll be lucky if I can find work S'ing D for money."

"What recession?" Vincent D'onofrio asked. "I finish up my online courses at the University of Phoenix next week and start at Citi Sept 1. C-suite style. Plenty of time to max and relax."

MBAs See Bleak Landscape In Recession [MSNBC]


Harvard Business School Alum Has A 4-Point Plan For Fixing The Election Process In The United States

On November 6, 2012, as the results of the presidential election rolled in, a member of the Harvard Business School Class of 2010 considered ending it all. "The thought crossed my mind to jump off my penthouse apartment balcony," he wrote his fellow classmates yesterday. Sure, he had a lot to live for: friends, family, the earthly delights afforded to him by living in Southern California ("surfing, mountains, 78 degree sunshine, and hot babes everywhere"), as well as a new company and all that came with it (relationships with celebrities that straddle the line between "friend and service provider," as well as invites to "the VMAs and private concerts in Vegas"). But he also had a lot of reasons to be good and angry at the world, including but not limited to: the state of California being "filled with so many hippie liberals" he just might snap and in doing so "choke out a street bum," people who "sit around with their hand out and expect to be fed," and, most vexingly, the reelection of Barack Obama. And while he did not in fact end up leaping from his penthouse balcony apartment that night, make no mistake, he was and is exceedingly pissed about the direction this country is going, which is south on the Pacific Coast Highway right straight to hell. And whereas the endless stream of bums and hobos and hippies he encounters each and every day the second he steps out of his penthouse apartment probably would take the easy way out, because that's what they do, he's better than that. So instead, he went to bed, got up, sat down at his computer and channeled his anger into something productive: a list of suggestions for how we can get America back on track and in four years, rest it from the hands of the commie holding it hostage, like forcing candidates to use bullet points and telling people who don't believe in capitalism to pack their shit because in 20 minutes a van is coming to ship their non-contributing zero asses off to a country where it's not actually a "privilege" to live. First, though, some life updates, because it really has been too long.

Blake Lively Has A Dream (Of Attending Harvard Business School)

She doesn't need to go to b-school (her sense of business is "innate"), but it's on her to do list nevertheless.