Those are some of Citi's answers to Part Two of the government's stress test, the written portion, which the Big C apparently thought was "just a big joke." Here are some other questions and answers from the examination administered last Saturday, as obtained by SNL.
* In the event of a nationwide run on the banks, how much in total cash assets does your bank have on hand to pay depositors?
Bank of America wrote: "not enough that's for sure."
Citi wrote: "Geithner sucks."
GMAC wrote: "taxpayer bailout."
* Given their historic under-representation in banking, women should be encouraged to enter the field as long as they are ______. (the correct answer was "as long as they are qualified.")
Morgan Stanley wrote: "as long as they are doable."
Bank of NY Mellon wrote: "immediate family members."
Citi wrote: "Hey Geithner, we've got a job for your mother."