Jim Cramer Now Taking On Dollar Dominatrix, Fantasizing About Her In Pigtails

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Oh, don't think for a second this mean he's finished with Nouriel Roubini, he's just spreading the love/hate around. To recap: last month Cramer said that Roubs was "intoxicated" with his own "prescience and vision." Roubini responded with "Cramer is a buffoon," and the alleged court jester, who loves it when you tell him he sucks, invited Dr. Doom onto his show to say it to his face. Then, two weeks ago, Cramer suggested Roubini was in bed with the shorts. Perhaps ticked that the doctor hasn't given him the satisfaction of a response, JC again attempted to provoke something, anything, at the very least a "go fuck yourself" today. Probably figuring that Roubini won't take the bait but a certain wrestling-loving firecracker just might, he threw Meredith Whitney into the mix. Which, we have to say, was smart.

Oddly, the people who are saying it tend to be the same ones who declared the recession over in March. I always have to remind these people they have it quite wrong: the depression ended in March, where deflation seemed unstoppable. That was when Citigroup (C) , Bank of America(BAC) , U.S. Bancorp(USB) and Wells Fargo(WFC) had their obituaries written by the two most implacable forces at the time in the investing universe -- Professor Roubini and Meredith Whitney. (Because I am a harsh critic of the scene, I now dub them "Professor and Maryanne [sic]," who would turn the millionaire and his wife into paupers.)

Roubini And Whitney: The Professor And Maryanne? [TRB via Clusterstock]

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So This Is Jim Cramer Talking About Jamie Dimon's Capitol Hill Appearance

"He didn't win. He's a loser. How? You lose when you go in front of Congress and you lose when you go out. Anyone that declares him a winner is wrong...He walked in a loser. Testified. Walked out a loser. And by the way, he agrees with me. He knows he's a loser with no control and doesn't even know what happened in his own bank...A loser. Crisis PR is psychiatry. You go in there as a guy who is stupid, you don't come out being smarter. You don't. You come out just as stupid...He's a loser...This is not Michael Corleone with Frank Pentangeli in the back of the room. This is not Nevada gaming licenses...He's a loser. It's okay, man. He's a loser. Maybe next year he'll be a winner but he is a loser. Okay."