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Layoffs Watch '09 (And Beyond): Goldman Sachs

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Don't worry, it's a good thing! According to Lloyd Blankfein, if you haven't yet been fired, you're safe, mostly likely, though no promises (unprecedented market volatility and all that jazz, plus the possibility that Hank Paulson will return to the nest and require the trading floor and its inhabitants be bulldozed for his new office/playpen where he'll string up Ken Lewis by his balls each morning). The li'l fella told shareholders at the annual investor meeting Friday, "We have no plans on the horizon for downsizing, but we'll respond to the environment," he said. "We don't feel the pressure to downsize now." [via Clusterstock]