Skip to main content

Like We Said, It Sucks Worse In Europe (For Now)

  • Author:
  • Updated:

Listen people, I don't want to hear any nonsense about how bad it is over here until you start hearing the suck that is Euroland. I mean seriously. (Yes, we are aware that we vacillate between Eurosuck and Eurorule at the whim of the gusty winds of the press- you must see our fickleness as satire to fully understand the veins of humor that run through our lean flesh).

The euro area is falling into such a deep hole that the recovery, when it eventually comes, will be a long, hard journey. Figures released on Friday May 15th showed that GDP in the 16-country currency zone fell by 2.5% in the first quarter, an annualised rate of some 10%, far worse than many analysts had feared. Germany, the largest economy in the group, fell even harder: its GDP shrank by 3.8% in the three months to March and has plunged by almost 7% since its recession began a year ago. Italy's GDP fell by 2.4% in the quarter; Spain's by 1.8%. The 1.2% fall in France, large by any normal standards, almost counts as a boom.

The euro-area economy is slumping faster than most had feared
[The Economist]


Who Said It?

"Each of us does and says things at one point or another in our lives we regret," [redacted] told TheWrap. "The costume I wore to the fundraiser [in which I appeared in blackface] was one such thing for me." Hopefully you answered James Montgomery, CEO of boutique investment bank Montgomery & Co, as that was the answer we were looking for. Montgomery, whose costume also featured African tribal wear and a stuffed gorilla and was captured on a video released today, continued: "While I can understand that some people may have read something other than what was intended into my wearing that costume to a costume party [at the annual fundraising event for St. Matthew's Parish School], as anyone who knows me would attest, that is not consistent with my beliefs nor is it with who I am," Montgomery added. "I am sick about the false impression it gave. All I can do now is to do what I did then and apologize for any offense I may have caused." Tom Hanks calls fundraiser blackface video 'hideously offensive' [MSNBC]