As we discussed this morning, Bernie Madoff was (is?) a big fan of rub and tugs, escort services, and grabbing the ass of former secretary Eleanor Squillari. But apparently all those hours logged on the massage table, seeing what "Ladies of Discretion" had to offer, and telling Liza Minelli's doppelgänger how good she looked while typing letters to investors he was screwing were an elaborate displacement defense mechanism by Ponzi-boy, unable to sate his and (and Little Bernie's) true desire.
Apparently, while Liza's ass was nice, what Big (and Little) B really wanted was former employee Jennifer Cook, a Madoff Securities assistant equity trader, who the Ponz Master would make special visits to the floor under the express purpose of flirting with "to no avail." Berns was presumably heart-broken when "Jen" married Bear Stearns employee Joseph Cerami (though it didn't curb his attempts to tap that), and even more so when she resigned from the firm in 1998, after which Bernie spent "considerably less" time on the floor. Jen is now married to Michael Price, which must kill Big B, not least of all because Price's place as the 559th richest man in the world could've made for some sweet investor cash.