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Nothing is fucked people. Nothing. Nothing at all. Green shoots are made thick oak. Cats have filed for voluntary separations from dogs and are no longer living together. Britney will retire from creating... anything. Including children. The Flu is cured. So is cancer. Just relax, will you?

Lawmakers in Washington are increasingly optimistic that the prospect of economic Armageddon is behind them.
Despite rising unemployment and continued dismal news in the housing market, which instigated the financial crisis, there's been a definite shift in the Beltway's economic mood.
"We're headed toward the bottom," said Rep. Paul Hodes (D-N.H.), who expects continued uncertainty in the economy but sees a recovery on the horizon.
"It will be a very slow, gradual recovery," he said. "But it's like falling off a cliff. It's the place where the cliff hits the beach, that kind of end of collapse."

...where your battered and crushed body will be gently nestled in a bloody bed of sand, quietly caressing you before the crabs begin to pick at your lips and the seagulls your eyes. How very beautifully peacefully consoling. Hey, how about you raise my taxes now?
Lawmakers don't expect Armageddon [The Hill]