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We Can Do This The Easy Way Or The Hard Way: Which Banks Are Willing To Work Hard For The Money?

Given that I'm bored as all fuck here, I have a little proposal to pass the time. Ahead of the release of the official stress test results at 5PM today, I want us all to sit down and come up with a working list of CEOs who we think would agree to the following proposal by the US government. In exchange for the scratch they supposedly need, no strings attached, who, on live TV, with Charlie Gasparino as an announcer, would submit to A2M by Tim "Ole 3 Legs" Geithner? Vikram-- given. Lewis, if we get him sufficiently sauced up, will do just about anything, capital or not. But what about John Mack? He's probably got principles. Or does he? And Wells Fargo chief John Stumpf? No way no how or sign him up? And how would the Blessing o' Buffett factor into the decision? On the one hand, the Oracle could just write WFC a check, sparing Stumpf the humiliation. On the other, this is the type of shit he hasn't seen since his days in the whorehouse, and would likely put a smile on his face. So that's something to think about. Anyway. Here's a list of candidates to get you started:

The following are the banks directed to raise capital:
* Bank of America Corp. $34 billion
* Wells Fargo & Co. $13 billion to 15 billion
* GMAC LLC $11.5 billion
* Citigroup Inc. $5 billion
* Morgan Stanley $1.5 billion
* Regions Financial Corp. unknown
* State Street Corp. unknown
* Fifth Third Bancorp unknown
* KeyCorp unknown
* PNC Financial Services unknown
* SunTrust Banks Inc. unknown

Stress Tests Show Banks Need To Raise Capital
[Dow Jones]


By U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

SEC Working Hard For The Money

Mary Jo White is a taskmaster's taskmaster.