Have Representative Michael Capuano accuse you of gang banging a bunch of girl scouts? Sit there while Rep. Elijah Cummings makes you feel like a bad person for treating your employees to $200,000 worth of facials? All the while knowing once you're finally allowed to leave and get back to the office, Hank Greenberg will be hiding behind the door ready to jump out and shout about how none of this was his fault? Today is your lucky day! As previously mentioned, Ed Liddy announced last week that he'll be getting the hell out of AIG just as soon as they can find a replacement for chairman and CEO (roles that are being separated to spread the love around) and apparently that day cannot come soon enough. Efforts are being ramped up to find two people willing to take on the sweet gigs, led by board member Dennis Dammerman and Big L himself who, wanting out of there a-sap, has said the process should take no more than a few months, tops. Lids told Reuters he expects the person picked as chair will be "someone familiar with the workings of government," while the CEO post should go to a masochist willing to commit up to five years to the job. Who's interested?