Many of you have been asking lately why there's been nary a peep from CNBC on-air editor-cum-Dealbreaker mascot Charlie Gasparino 'round these parts. The simple answer is that Chaz is on book leave from the peacock, leaving us with little material. But that doesn't do much to sate the yearning you never thought you'd have for CG, or make the painful withdrawals you people are experiencing during this period of separation anymore bearable, does it? It does not. And so, because we are always working for you, today we offer a shot of Gaspo. It's not the same as having his mug up in your face day in and day out, reporting his scoops from down by the docks, but it's something.
Reached at his vacation home in Connecticut, Gaspar, dressed to the nines in a pair of boxers and a beater, told us he's gone without a shave for "about five days," and, with the facial hair growing in gray for the first time ever, is "starting to resemble Dick Bové." We delivered the message that you guys are seriously broken up about a CNBC sans CG, to which he offered, "Listen, when you write a book this big and sprawling, it takes time." Before getting down to what's been up with Gaspo, though, we were informed that Kate Kelly's new book, Street Fighters, supposedly gets shit wrong about the Oracle of Rego Park. Opening up his copy, Charles noted that on page 159, Kelly claims he and Jimmy Cayne went to a celebratory dinner after Warren Spector was ousted from Bear. Not so, claimed CG!
"The Sunday before I broke the news on CNBC, I was up in CT, about to throw a lobster in a boiling pot of water. I'd poured myself a martini but hadn't yet taken a sip," Chazpo told us, getting heated. "Cayne called me and I said, 'To what do I deserve such an honor,' sarcastically, because he hadn't been returning my calls around that time. Cayne told me he wanted to explain what happened. So we went to some Chinese place-- Shun Lee Palace-- and he told me the story. Straightforward. Kelly made it sound like we were popping champagne, acting all chummy. The whole concept of me being chummy with Jimmy at that point is BS."
That was all duly noted, we told Chaz, but what we really wanted to do was get down to the nitty-gritty of what he's been up to. Sleeping 'til noon? Shaking down CEOs? Waking up not knowing what city he's in? Gasps says his schedule lately is more like this:
-- Wake up around 7:30 ("I don't sleep late unless I'm drinking heavily the night before")
-- Read the Post, glance at the other papers
-- Drink "heavy duty amounts of coffee"
-- "And then: I write," apparently, for hours
-- Sometime in the afternoon, "I work-out for about an hour and a half. If I'm in Connecticut, I jog 5.5 miles, and then do a lot of pull-ups (30 on the first set, wide grip). If I'm in the city, I jog to the track by the East River. I do 36 sets--sets, not reps-- of pull-ups, 18 sets of push-ups, 5 50-yard dashes, then jog home.
-- Quick work-out story: a few weeks ago, when CG was at the track, he's "doing pull ups, grunting." All of a sudden, he hears someone behind him "grunting in unison." Know who it was? Jimmy Cayne. No, I wish. "It was a two year old," Charles recalled. "He was there with his mom. Wanted to be like me, I guess."
-- Go home and write "lots of times 'til 1 in the morning"
Though we begged him to name a specific date we can all mark on our calenders for his official, full-time return to CNBC, Charles would only say "as the book load writing and re-writing lightens up, expect me on more and more." Okay, fine. Who do you miss the most over there, we asked. Michelle Caruso Cabrera, prepare to hold back the tears, because the answer was a resounding "Nobody." (Having sensed an undeniable chemistry with Mark Haines in the past, we wondered if perhaps the real answer was "Nobody, except Mark." CG only replied ruefully, "Mark is a great guy. No comment on anyone else.")
Finally, Gasparino suggested you guys give his work-out routine a shot, though, he told us "Judging by the comments on Dealbreaker, these are men who are really women, and no woman could complete my regime."