Hedge Fund Wives Being Forced To Drown Sorrows In Cheap Booze, And Other Horror Stories You Cannot Imagine

Author:
Updated:
Original:

Here at Dealbreaker we've been taking careful note of the various ways in which the wives of formerly successful financial services hacks have been forced to demean themselves due to unprecedented market volatility. Flying commercial over private. Wearing J. Crew. Performing A2M without even the possibility of it resulting in a trip to the ATM. Driving Honda Pilots. Today the sob stories continue.
Since his hedge fund closed, one trader's wife has been slumming it among the masses, telling writer, Tatiana Boncompagni, "Do you know I have to take the subway now? I didn't get married for this." Fuck no she didn't! (Sadly, unless she cuts her losses, Jenny from the Block will be riding the 6 for the foreseeable future, on account of the fact that, in her opinion, Meal Ticket hasn't been trying hard enough to find a new job.) Thanks to her worthless hedge hub, another victim is downgrading to $60 bottles of wine at dinner. Tomorrow it'll probably be Old English. One wife is actually being forced to pimp it out (her house on Mustique, for $40,000 a week, not her body but presumably that's next). And there are the women whose situations are so bad they're not even allowed to get into it at all.

When I tried to interview an acquaintance whose husband works for SAC Capital for this article, she told me that she had been advised not to speak to anyone, even off the record.

Related