The other day we implored you guys to get yourselves involved in some sex scandals that could potentially prove entertaining to the DB audience. We still want you get right on top of that, possibly today at lunch. But before getting down to business we cannot in good conscience send you out into the wild without adding-- don't get yourself killed, as legal counsel informs me we could possibly be implicated.
There are a variety of ways you could avoid death during sex, all of which we'll be reviewing, but this morning the most pressing is to not engage in BDSM with Cecile Brossard, or other prostitutes who will fly off the handle if you dare to refer to them by their profession or remark that you think you're getting overcharged. I cannot stress this enough. You can do them from behind while wearing the mask from Scream, you can keep your socks on, even though it's weird. But do not, under any circumstances, suggest that a) they are working girls or b) that you're getting screwed.
While dressed in a latex suit and tethered to a chair, one of France's richest men was slain by his Swiss mistress -- all because he called his hot-headed lover a high-priced prostitute during sex.
"One million for a whore, that's expensive!" Edouard Stern sniped to an enraged Cecile Brossard, she told a Swiss court.
Brossard, 40, said she was so offended by the slight from the man she adored, she shot Stern, 50, in the head -- and then pulled the trigger three more times after he managed to get up out of the chair.
A jury of six women and six men found that Stern had sometimes been "humiliating, tormenting and even cruel" to Brossard. But it said her deed was "particularly cowardly" given that Stern -- who was tied to a chair in a submissive position -- had no way of defending himself or expecting such an act.
Brossard told the court she will love Stern forever. "I've always protected his memory," he said.