How To Turn Your Molestation-Tainted Money Pit Into A Lucrative Asset

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Today brings a crash course from the good people at Colony Capital, who spent $23 million to get in bed with Michael Jackson last year when the singer defaulted on a $24.5 million loan backed by Neverland Ranch, and are now attempting to make the place salable. It's hard, though, see, 'cause while huge and filled with happy memories, the estate is a bit run down, and, depending on your view of things, devalued by the (alleged) child-banging aspect that pervades throughout. Anyway, we figured, in the very likely event that one or two of the more well-known DB readers will find himself in a cash-strapped situation that would necessitate the sale of his own Kid Zone, Colony's effort would provide a nice guide when it comes to navigating "the fine line between removing the taint of scandal while preserving enough...quirks," to pique the interest of potential buyers.
* Do: "bring in a small herd of Clydesdales to show visitors some signs of life"


* Don't: keep the malnourished elephants and orangutans
* Do: put the sign that indicates "no one over 14 shall pass" (in this case it's the gold "Neverland" gate, in your case it might be "Minors Only") in storage, at least while showing the property
* Don't: Think twice about keeping the train station and tracks that circle the property. They add character, and there's nothing inherently molest-y about a train. (Or: there's something totally inherently molest-y about a train.)
* Do: do something about the "guano" stains on the front-walk
* Don't: scrap "an elaborate fort and make-believe "Indian village"

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