Let Me Ask You A Question...Can I Wear The Scream Mask?

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As you all know, Eliot Spitzer has been attempting to rehabilitate his public image, post the whole hook banging situation. The Slate gig, talk show appearances and so on and so forth. The latest is a Vanity Fair lunch interview in which Spitzer eats a coupla hot dogs, answers questions with questions and cries. Obviously, the first thing you all want to know is, "How does Eliot Spitzer like his weiners?" So let's just get right to it.

"You like it regular or special?" the vendor asked automatically.
"Just a little mustard, thank you," Mr. Spitzer replied.

That doesn't actually square away with what the Emperor's Club had on file but no matter. Moving on, reporter and lunch date John Heilpern, unafraid to go there, asks Spitzer why so many politicians are caught in sex scandals. "What is it with you all?"

"I'm not going to make excuses," Spitzer replied evenly. "Let me ask you a question: Is there a difference between politicians and anybody else? Or is it that the lives of politicians are so very public?"

From there, the salty discharge flows.

Do you think the scandal will ever go away?," [Heilpern] asked.
"No. My obituary's written," he replied with shocking finality. "And that is a very hard thing to live with."
When he turned away, I could see he was in tears. And yet he continued to talk amiably, showing me a surprising sculpture he valued. He explained that it was a mangled piece of the car driven by nascar star Jeff Gordon that crashed 15 years ago during a race in Michigan.
"We all survive," said Mr. Spitzer.

Actually kind of a depressing note, which is not the way we like to feel when we read about or interface with prostitutes but lucky for you it doesn't have to be that way. We've obtained an audio clip from the pay for puss days, which should put a smile everyone's face. This comes from way back, even before Dupre. We think it might actually be Spitzer's first time, as evidenced by the fact that he's unsure of what is or isn't allowed, and must therefore clear things ahead of time, over the phone. Here's a hint of the transcript: "Let me get this straight-- I gotta pay for the blow job, and the god damn hotel room too? Well that just seems like I'm spending too much money for nothing. I've got a house, you can just get your ass over here."

He gets going at 2:55.

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Not Everyone Convinced Former Trader Meant "It Wasn't A Question Of If I Was Going To Kill You, Just Of When" In A Figurative Sense

A year or so a go, commodities trader Vincent McCrudden was arrested for some things he put on a company website and some emails he sent out. The former involved an "execution" list containing the names of a handful of financial regulators, which he asked readers to aid him in crossing off ("I need your help," he wrote. "There are just too many for me alone"). The latter included an email to a CFTC staffer that noted: “You fucking corrupt piece of shit! I have let so many of you fucking corrupt mother fuckers off the hook for doing this to my life. You my friend are not getting away with this. I am going to do this my way now and you, you corrupt mother fucking piece of shit are the first on my list! laugh mother fucker…I am going to make you a test case!” To that end, the chief operating officer of the NFA was told, “It wasn’t ever a question of ‘if’ I was going to kill you, it was just of when." Were these emails particularly colorful? Yes. Should anyone who received them (or had their name placed on The List) been actually worried about losing his/her life? McCrudden could see how maybe things might have been interpretted that way, but no. As he told a judge, “I wrote provocative language on my website that could have been perceived as threatening. I would never intentionally hurt or cause bodily harm to another human being." And yet, this is still happening: Vincent P. McCrudden, a former New York commodities trader, was sentenced to two years and four months in prison for threatening to kill federal financial regulators. McCrudden, 51, who pleaded guilty last year, was sentenced today by U.S. District Judge Denis R. Hurley in federal court in Central Islip, New York...McCrudden said he was being persecuted for fighting back against unfair regulatory actions that destroyed his career. In addition to trading commodities, he ran his own hedge funds...McCrudden’s legal and regulatory entanglements began in 2000, when he was criminally charged with masking shortfalls in statements to his hedge-fund investors. The government said he included in his results money he expected to get from a lawsuit after Sumitomo Corp. (8053) was accused of manipulating the copper market. Ex-Trader McCrudden Gets 28 Months in Prison for Threats [Bloomberg]