Lobbying Barney Frank

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It's what the laymen might refer to as: ass-kissing. Or what the less dignified among us might refer to as: salad-tossing. Whatever you want to call it, Frank-y Boy ain't falling for it. So you can wine him, dine him, send roses to his office by the dozen every hour on the hour and he's still not going to just let you pay your senior executives whatever you fancy, or flit off on corporate retreats picked up by the taxpayer, or throw away all the regulation he wants to lay on your asses.
You can tell him how good he looks today, or how "slimming" that pinstripe suit is 'til you're blue in the face. You can tell him how smart he is and how lucky we are to have such a brilliant guy like himself in charge during such dark days. You can get Vosges on the horn and literally turn his House office into a revolving door bacon bars, or grind them down and hook him up to an IV of the most delicious salty/sweet and he still won't-- actually, no, that would do it, though it'll presumably cost you. For anyone (JPMorgan) searching in vain for BF's g-spot, that was a free one. Aaron Elstein reports:

Just about everyone in banking wants to be Barney Frank's friend nowadays.
Last week, 600 people, including executives from Goldman Sachs and J.P. Morgan Chase, filled the cavernous National Building Museum in Washington, D.C., for a $5,000-per-table tribute to the chairman of the House Financial Services Committee. He is marshaling legislation that promises to make Wall Street a more regulated and less prosperous place for years to come, and to hear it from some of the bankers at the event, they couldn't be happier that a tough-talking, capital-L Liberal Democrat from Massachusetts is leading the charge to rewrite their futures.

"We sparred early," recalls former Republican congressman Rick Lazio, a J.P. Morgan executive who co-chaired last week's event and who had served on the Financial Services Committee with Mr. Frank. "But he always was good for his word, and he understands the complex issues that we face today. It's fortuitous to have such a smart guy in such a key spot."
Mr. Frank swats such sweet nothings aside. Mr. Lazio, he snaps, "has gone from being one of my opponents to lobbying me. That changes how people think."

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